Dear 2020, What the F*ck are You Doing?

It is not the first time I am watching life crumbling into pieces in front of my eyes. This time, it's just not my life, but the entire planet. And even though nobody that I personally know of has taken a hit of this nasty virus attack (thanks to an evil motherfucking nation again) but the energy never lies. Everyone is paranoid. Everyone is tensed. Me? I am always paranoid and tensed. But it's worse than ever this time. As an empath I tend to take on other people's energy and get affected by that. And even though I hardly step out of my house these days, opening social media has the same effect as getting lost at Kumbh Mela.

Lots of people are calling Donald Trump racist for labeling covid_19 a 'Chinese virus'. Well it is a Chinese virus, isn't it? How come 'Belgian Waffles' is not racist, but 'Chinese virus' is? It did originate in China; an overpopulated, savage nation that eats all kinds of animals and destroys the ecosystem. Now the rest of the world is suffering. And ironically, not a single leader from the affected nations has the balls to call a spade a spade. When will you speak up? After one country single-handedly destroys an entire planet? Atrocities on Tibet, dictatorship in the name of fuck all Communism (that shit sucks anyways), eating dog meat, waging economic warfare by forcing people to work in unimaginable conditions making cheap knock-offs of literally half the world's produce, and now the world is suffering because some savage fucker ate a bat. Some tycoon from China has already disappeared from the face of earth for criticising the government. Ah, sweet sweet Communism.

How is social distancing going on for everyone? For me, it's my age old lifestyle. I have been alone for such a long time that I don't know what social intimacy is. As a loner introvert, I am definitely laughing evil laughs at those idiots who cannot live without people up their asses 24*7. No wedding dance for you numbnut tossers. *malicious grin* I hope after this crisis is over nobody will ever dare ask an anti-social introvert to 'open up'. I hope the motherfuckers will have learned their lesson.

I came down to Calcutta to attend a family emergency on a very short notice. I hate Calcutta. More than the city itself I hate my house. It's filled with years and years of negative energy. I do not have a single happy memory here. No matter how hard I try this house makes me feel absolutely wretched, every single time. Without fail. It's a haunted house full of living people. It's a house of zombies. Hopes and dreams come here to die. I can't wait to be back to my own place. But my usual trip to hell aside, the journey this time was another hellish experience. Imagine sitting on a train for eight hours with a fucking mask on. Imagine the waves of paranoia and guilty exchange of glances the moment someone sneezes or coughs. It was a nightmare.

Months of light work can be ruined by one trip to my hometown. I can literally feel the existential dread creeping up like poisonous weeds suffocating me. Perhaps it's my depressed suicidal ass speaking but I can't help feeling it's the last hours of the planet. Maybe the end isn't that far. The end of one of the infinite cycles of course. Too much filth. Too much terror. Too much disequilibrium all around us. Maybe it is indeed time to start from the scratch. Maybe it's time for Lord Vishnu to come down on a glorious white horse dressed as a warrior. His magnificent sword will put one worn out race to rest. As for me, I am too fucking tired. I wouldn't mind packing my bags and heading home. We will meet again, at the start of a new Kalpa, with brand new hopes in our hearts. Maybe next time we won't fuck things up so badly.

Hope. Hope is all that remains when you reach that end of the line. 

Dear 2020, be little more kind in the coming months, please.

Yours truly.