Random Musings Series/ 6

Depression sucks. I mean SUCKS. People often mistake depression for poems and sad songs and alcohol and other kinds of self-abuse. But honestly, true depression is none of those things. It's basically nothing. One big fat NOTHING that engulfs your very existence. That is, my dear, what depression looks like. Just a fucking void. You don't wanna leave the bed. Don't wanna bathe. Don't wanna eat. Don't wanna pick up calls. Don't wanna see memes. Fuck you don't even have the energy to kill yourself. You just lay motionless and wait. Wait till the doomsday arrives and your misery will take care of itself without you having to intervene.

Stranger Things 3 was launched on 4th of July and I binged watch the eight chapters the very same day. Can an already dead person be heartbroken? If yes, then I am shattered. I cried till 3 in the morning. Next morning I realised I had fallen head over heels for Jim Hopper. This proves one can fall in love with a character in the third season out of nowhere. This also proves how fucked up I am. Always aiming for something I can never have. For past four days I have googled everything I could find about David Harbour. I am fantasizing about him 24*7. That makes me realise how severe my daddy issues are. Last night I creeped my friend out talking about my quest of finding the daddy I never had in every single man I had dated till date. In vain. David Harbour, are you listening?
p.s. My other overwhelming fantasy is to adopt the whole kid squad of ST. Yes, Eleven, Mike, Noah, Dustin, Lucas, Max, be my children already please!
Yup, still hate kids in general.

The Chalet was an addictive watch. At first it was bit difficult because all I was doing was reading the subtitles as the show is in French. After a while it was alright. The Chalet is dark, dreary, and deeply unsettling. It was like reading a Gillian Flynn book. The darkness will begin to devour your soul and yet you won't be able to stop because it feels way too good. I stayed awake the entire night to finish the series in one go. By the time I went to sleep it was 7 o' clock in the morning and my sleep was interrupted by dark, disturbing dreams. I have only one question. I know it's the European culture blah blah blah, but was it really necessary to show so many boobs?

Spiderman FFH is another shit movie in the latest Spiderman franchise. I only went to watch because I was bored as fuck and I needed some breather. This movie is one big dud after the epic Endgame shit. Tom Holland is good, yet not good enough to carry one whole movie on his shoulder, yet. And Marvel, if you really wish to make a movie on teenagers and make it interesting then learn from the Duffer Brothers. This is the worst movie on the resume of Jake Gyllenhaal by the way.

If you are ever planning to buy anything from TJORI, then word of caution, DON'T. That site is super fraud. They put up enhanced pictures to lure shopaholics like me and then the stuff you will get on mail will turn out to be very cheap quality stuff. And then they won't refund your money. They will only offer store credit, which will again lead to you buying low quality overpriced crap. You get the picture. Do stay away from those SOBs.

Mercury Retrograde is here again peeps. Buckle your seat-belts. The coming month is going to fuck things up royally in your life if not already fucked up to begin with. I fucking hate this particular planet's retrograde. Anxiety attacks are bad but imagine having a million of them in a row. Even gulping down raw vodka in the middle of the night is not slowing my heartbeat rates. Even while writing this it feels like that fucker is going to explode at any time. What a fucking nightmare! The other fucked up aspect of the retrograde is also here. Already two people from my past tried to contact me. I don't know what they were thinking. Someone pisses me off once and I stay pissed off for the rest of the eternity. I have many virtues, forgiveness is not one of them. So if I kicked your ass out once, kindly stay fucked off please! Fuck you Mercury. Fuck you big time.

Oh and if it's not already obvious from all of the above, I am in a really fucked up mood currently. I hate everything and everyone. If I was walking down the street and a fucking sniper kills my sorry loser ass of a shipwreck I would be the happiest. So fuck you. Or whatever the fuck.