Random Musings Series/ 5

Darjeeling is getting colder by day. Sometimes it feels like I'm living inside a vampire's belly. I hate it. I feel cold and hungry (I have very low blood pressure) then I eat. And drink. Then I feel fat and guilty. And the cycle goes on. I have gained some extra kilos over past few months and I'm hating my reflection in the mirror since this realisation dawned upon me. Even though I used to look kind of emaciated back in Calcutta. Depression could be a great substitute for exercising, given that you don't drink too much alcohol.

Brooklyn Nine Nine is one irritating sitcom. I don't know why it is so popular. The jokes are boring. Everyone is trying too hard. And not to mention most of its protagonists are so loud all the time that it gives me headache. Especially that Andy Samberg fellow. It's like watching a Caucasian Johnny Lever.

Who are these guys on Instagram who randomly like your pictures and then start DMing you? I mean who are they? Do they have normal life? Or do they live in their personal museum of puppets made out of human skin? It's been almost five years I joined Instagram and I still don't understand this special clan of men. But I do think they are the kind of people who go to a movie theatre to watch Simmba.

Airtel 4G. Sucks. That rabbit lookalike Airtel chick? SUCKS. Someone please put something in her mouth in order to stop her from talking.

The Blogger app on phone sucks big time. It's like working on my department's 'specially developed' software. Old fashioned, full of glitches, and breaks down when you need it most.

No, I don't care about Priyanka Chopra's 'love story'. I don't care about Meghan Markle's baby's gender. I don't care about Sonam Kapoor's 'empowering' lecture on feminism. Internet, please shut the fuck up.

Shahid Kapoor has a rare kind of personality. It's like it was never there since he was born and then has recently emerged out of a manhole. No wonder the manholes are always to be kept shut in public interest. Same goes for that half brother manchild of his.

Talking about Shahid Kapoor's personality, what's with all these programmes about Bollywood celebrities? Who would want to watch the same dumbass celeb flaunting their nosejob while being fake over and over again?

There comes another programme on TravelXp about the much famous Mount Kailash trip. I don't know on what basis they chose the host. Maybe he was the most expendable one. It's a serious pain to watch him rambling like a jackass while riding some poor pony throughout most of the 'trek'. Why go on a mountain trip if you can't walk on your own feet? Especially when you are young AND on national television. At one point he even tries to explain to the audience how to maintain the 'balance of equilibrium' while riding a pony. Even Anil Kapoor's children speak better English than him.

There's a new gimmick trending on Instagram these days. It's called #10yearschallenge. People are posting their 2009 photos alongside the recent ones with loads of bullshit in the caption. I was a lost, ugly girl back in 2009. I am that same clueless girl ten years later. But with better outfits.

The other day my friend and I were discussing about our jobs. In turns out that we abhor our respective ones so zealously that we now compare it with prostitution. We get our metaphorical asses fucked so we get to shop pretty things that superficially fills the void. And leaves us miserable anyways. My anxiety has gone to such level that I no longer pick up any calls from unknown numbers. Thinking that it might be from another asshole from work.

And last but not the least, Truecaller has become my most favourite app.

Comments

  1. I am sure this time I have crossed my limit of falling off the map wayyy beyond senses. I can't apologize enough for my actions. Just letting you know that I still regularly think of you and hoping that you are alright. I will always love you for the person you are! :(

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment