I don’t know if it is the effect of planetary transit, or
the huge shift in lifestyle, or maturity, or unrequited hidden love for someone
but I am becoming less rigid and more relaxed these days. I take things as they
come and don’t try to resist much. Earlier I used to be so scared and insecure
that I would be defensive all the time. And that would come out all wrong. Now I
know why kindness is such an important virtue. Being kind doesn’t always mean
doing volunteer work. Sometimes kindness just means sitting back and looking at
things from others’ perspective. That’s how forgiving becomes easier. And forgiveness
leads to liberation. Nowadays I even celebrate my sadness as well instead of
suppressing it the wrong way. Now I sit back and try to talk with the sad girl.
I let her cry. Wipe her tears. Give her a hug. Then tell her that it’s OK to
fall back sometimes. Feeling sad every once in a while is part of life.
So when our original Holi plan got cancelled I tried to
console myself and took a bus home. Cancelled plans can sometimes lead to
better events – 2018 has taught me so right in the beginning. So I kept my
hopes up. Why does the universe always test my optimism, I wonder. Anyway. It was long
weekend of Holi; D and I were loitering around her parents’ house with no plan
for next two days. She suggested, "Let’s go for Sonu ke Titu ki Sweety." Now
here comes the relevance of the super boring highly philosophical ranting of
the first para. Had it been a year back I would have made a face and gave her
lecture about modern culture ruining our innate Bengaliness. But now I’m a
changed person who is interested in committing the so-called sacrilege more
than ever. So we headed for Sonu ke Titu ki Sweety. Everytime I was trying to
pronounce the name of the movie it was coming out as Sonu ki Sweetu ki Tutty so
I refrained from going to the counter myself. The movie was entertaining with
Luv Ranjan’s usual misogynist touch. My last boyfriend was a big fan of Pyar ka
Punchnama and he used to think it’s very cool to be a misogynist prick and date
a girl at the same time. I am not an extremist hater at heart and by god I love
men. So I ignored the ‘girls are manipulative bitch’ angle and enjoyed the
bromance which was the main theme of the movie. Just one request to the
director. Sir, it’s OK if some girl dumped you bad. That doesn’t make every girl bad in the world. Had it been so I would have founded a ‘We hate men’ club by now. But I do love the excitement every time I fall for a new person even if it
always ends in tears and alcohol. It’s the journey remember, not the
destination. However, the saddest part was they bloody 'beep'ed all the cuss words.
Our Holi would have ended on a dry note but on our way back
we were roaming in Ajaynagar market where I spotted the usual fruit juice shop
holding out a special signboard. Holi special
thandai. Need I say more? An hour later we were so high that we could
barely speak. That night I hit the bed and passed out immediately. Moral of the story? Don't get so high that it makes you sleepy.
On the second day of Holi we went to Quest. After mandatory photo
session we headed for food court. We went to Chilli’s first. Sitting on a table
facing Park Circus down below I commented, "Ah here I came on my first date
with *beep*." My friend looked at me with concern with a small smile at the
corner of her mouth. I could read her. She was trying to tell me that we could
leave at once if I wasn’t OK. "Are you kidding? I no longer run away. And it
actually feels nice." It did. The same way I had enjoyed on the bus. Melancholy is addictive; more than alcohol. But suddenly
we remembered there’s Irish House on the floor above. So we headed there. After
one round of martini and two rounds of Corona we were over the moon. Even though
the sadness of cancelled plan was still stinging but we were somehow OK with
it. Life, after all, will be dull without surprises.
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