Letting Go

“I am hurting so fucking much. I don’t feel normal.”
“Ah honey, just let it go.

Exactly how many times I have heard this phrase in life till date? I don’t keep a count. At least a hundred times, perhaps? Well, even the new-age, feminist Disney princesses seem to take that advice these days. Let it go.

Well, what does it exactly mean though? What to let go of? How to let go? Do we really do that? People who give that advice like gifting a mass-produced greeting card on your birthday; do they really know what it means? Do they really mean what they are saying? Or is it just as easy as an advice as any store purchased card or a text template? Easy and hassle-free advice for a good natured but too busy friend and one of the best excuses for a coward. Yes, it is always too easy to cut loose and run from an issue by simply telling, “Let it go!”

You know what, I refuse to let go. I always have. Unless or until I have a solid reason.

Do I sound like a stupid (read emotional) person? Someone too much in pain? Or in denial mode? (You are just in denial mode. You DO have that mental disorder. Google told me so.) Maybe. Or maybe not. I always like to BELIEVE. I always like to believe that the fruit of my undying optimism is just around the corner. And tomorrow will bring me the news I have been waiting for my whole life. Have I been hurt owing to my naivety? Yes, plenty of times. There is/was no dearth of people in my life to remind me that world is nothing but a cold, dark place full of disappointments. But have I ever been paid off for it????

Yes I have. Believe it or not, my stubborn faith in the goodness of people and the fairytale quality of life have come to my rescue at the oddest hours, out of the blue, leaving me dazed. People whom I have refused to give up on have come around most amazingly. Believe and ye shall receive. Who says Harry Potter is just a fictional tale about magic? Magic does exist. Only if you believe in it with every last ounce of faith you have.

Read any article on Sagittarius people and INFP. You will find one common thing everywhere. They believe. Sometimes it borders on stupidity, or so other people tell them. But any day I am happier to have come across as naïve than as some wiseass, calculative person. How boring would that be?

To me letting go is something else. And that does not clash with my optimistic spirit. I am not an obsessive psycho stalker. (One of the symptoms of BPD, my dear google-educated psychologist) I don’t think I have ever stalked or been obsessed about anyone in my life. For me the bliss of letting go lies in the bliss of ignorance. Or in the power of staying utterly detached yet believing in something. Or in having a rock solid faith. Or in the quality of smiling at the spontaneity of the Universe and let Her have Her way while hoping for the best. Always for the best. Sometimes when things are falling apart that might be paving way for a new beginning. A chance to start afresh, from the scratch. Like Noah. Death is a painful incident. But how on earth your soul will get to wear that new outfit until it sheds the old, shabby one? I don’t give up on people I love. Or on my faith. I simply climb off the driver’s seat and let life take its own course and applaud to cheer it in every turn.

Someone once told me, “And hope always stays alive for me.” I have seen the same person being utterly despondent and giving up to baseless fear and insecurity. I don't read spiritual guidebooks where fatass, rich, free of family ties gurus give advice to people on how to live life. I don’t give people advice. I can only say this. Don’t just keep hope alive in written words. Don't just use it when it is convenient. Kindle every cell of your existence with the gleam of that magic word. When night gets too dark and there is no one around, those lights will help you guide your way back home.