Salvation Time

My father always says that fate and destiny shape a person’s life. No matter how hard you try, you will only get what has been allocated to you the very moment you breathed your first. My relationship with both of my parents has always been a turbulent one. We have our differences, sometimes rather strong ones that often lead to civil war type situations. Honestly I used to think man shapes his own destiny. And I couldn’t help feeling a hint of resentment towards my father for being so ‘pansy’. Until now.

The month of May has been the single most interesting month in my life since year 2013. And oh boy, that was one fretful year. I wouldn’t use the word ‘worst’ as the gods might take it as a competition and start throwing some more ‘challenges’ at my path. Aren’t I just mortified of living sometimes?

For a very long time I almost believed that I was never going to feel alive again. Things would never change. And I would forever be a part of this infinite loop. I had started to believe I was a doomed creature. And then one fine day it happened. The curse was lifted. The ray of sunshine appeared and the dark, evil shadow that had been looming over my head for past years sucking the life out of me one breath at a time, was suddenly gone. Annihilated. Obliterated. Extirpated.

At first I thought I had lost my mind completely. When the pain goes beyond help it doesn’t hurt anymore. Then it slowly dawned on me what was happening. And to my utter bewilderment I realised that I was over it. Finally. 3 years of pain and misery and confusion and tears and torment and sleepless nights - it had ended, once and for all. And no, I did not have to read any self-help book. I did not meditate. I did not have to force fill the cup of my life with positivity (Oh I’m still the same old sadomasochist unhinged sassy bitch that I have always been). But it just ended, on its own accord. As if it was meant to end at this point of time only, just like it had begun – out of the blue. Probably I have underestimated destiny all this time. I have undermined the power of the universe and it was taking its revenge. And today I finally bow down before the universe and its mysterious ways. For I am nothing but the offspring of my destiny seeking the path to my salvation.

It’s time to recommence the journey.