Survival and Quote of The Week

'I love the way she survived. Survival looked good on her. There were no dark marks under her eyes. Maybe deep inside, but I liked the way she looked through them and laughed at life. She did it gracefully. She'd walked over glasses and through fire, but still smiled. And, honestly, I'm not interested in people who haven't lived and died a few times. Who haven't yet had their heart ripped out, or know what it feels like to lose everything. I trust those people, because they stand for something. I knew what she'd been through. I wanted to thank her for surviving. And her to know she now had someone willing to stand with her too.'

- J. Raymond

This week when I was sitting in the waiting room of a city hospital, this quote popped in my head out of nowhere. Perhaps, it is one of my all time favourite quotes. Or perhaps it was owing to the fact that I was thinking of a similar night two years ago. Yes, almost two years ago my father had massive heart attack and we had to hospitalize him in the middle of the night. This week it felt like I was having a perfect deja vu of that scary night. The same paralyzing fear, the same feeling of helplessness, the same blank look on my mother's face, the same sign of pain on my father's face........

There was nothing else to do in that lonely waiting room, except for waiting. And thinking. I had the whole night at my disposal. And nights are unusually long when your nearest and dearest one is lying in the ICU just two floors above you. Therefore, I had all the time in the world to reflect on various things. My life for example. And how many times I had to go through many many battles and how I survived. Well, two years ago when my father went under ventilation, I did not think much of how that battle would end. That time, it ended in my favour. After a few months, another different type of blow came and that has emotionally crippled me for the rest of my life. I survived that one too, but with several bruises and a few lost limbs. And every single one of the injuries still hurts and knocks the shit out of me when the weather gets too cold.

I am an optimist. And as opposed to what some assholes might think, being an optimist is totally different from being an opportunist. I don't run away from difficult situations hoping that it would take care on its own. I love being happy, I just don't want to enjoy that happiness at the expense of others. I strongly believe that after every ordeal, there is something amazing waiting for us out there. And our life's purpose is to discover what it is. And trust me, victory does feel sweeter when you embrace it with your bruised arms. Remember how much Harry had to lose in order to finally defeat Voldemort?
I do not have a single complaint about my life. Yes I have been hurt. I have been deceived. I have lost many things that were dear to me. I have faced hardship. But I wear my battle scars as ornaments. I also know that there are millions of people all over the world who are infinitely more damaged and unhappy than I will ever be. In fact, sometimes I wonder what I ever did to deserve the privileged life that I enjoy. I can only express my humble gratitude to the Supreme Power for granting me so much in this life. And at the end of the day, I am happy that all the people I care about, are happy and alive. Some of them may not be with me anymore, but nevertheless I am happy for them.
Finally, my life, my battles and moreover my survival have taught me to be humble. They have taught me how to distinguish between fake and real. They have taught me that nothing is permanent. Be it happiness, be it sorrow. But kindness has no expiry date.
I am glad and eternally thankful to the Supreme Power that my father has come back home.

I thought I would only post it under Quote of The Week segment. But well, I spoke too much of my own, so I had to change the title. And er.. I too have got no dark circles under my eyes.