Time machine

Meera was surprised to find how a song could bring back so many memories. She was not prepared for it. Meera was very much the emotional type, yes; but no one could ever blame her for being a sissy. She knew how to bury her emotions. But today was a different occasion. Like every day she had gotten up in the morning and went to take shower before heading for office. Meera loved to play music on her phone while taking bath. It helped her to wash away the last tress of sleep off her eyes. Today she chose a different playlist; she chose the songs she had found yesterday after a long time. She just realized everything was coming back to her at once and she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. Memories that she had kept away locked carefully at that dusty corner of her mind that she wouldn’t dare herself to visit. Longtime back, she read somewhere that music led one’s brain cells to get excited following a particular pattern. The pattern was exclusive for each song one came to hear in their entire lifetime. And later, whenever they came across that song, the brain cells followed the exact same pattern, even if it was playing when they were asleep. Maybe that was why a song made her recall so many things she was too proud of herself that she had forgotten, Meera told herself. Usually memories came back in fragments, overlapping one another, like a kaleidoscope. Meera loved to look at those kaleidoscopic patterns with a childlike amazement. But this time, it felt different. It felt like somehow, through the magic tunnels of those songs she got teleported back to those times of her life, the happy times; the time that had left her long back. Meera closed her eyes, and like magic, she saw herself standing on that dusty road by that lake, where she first met him. She was so nervous that she couldn’t even look into his eyes. She was afraid that he might hear the fluttering of all the crazy butterflies inside her stomach. When was the last time she felt like that again? Meera could not recall. Her butterflies had died inside her long time ago. Or that time, Meera saw herself sneaking into the backside of the campus to go on a stroll with him and her colleagues came stalking her and then later pulled her legs when she was back to her room. Meera could read the lost but ecstatic expression on her face when she was going back from his hostel room, for the very first time. Who knew falling in love could feel so sweet yet passionate? As if her whole body was aching in the pain of her newfound bliss. He touched her body and reached her soul, something she did not know could be possible. Something she was totally oblivious of. Oh wasn’t it that song that she would play on repeat mode during the entire long bus ride to office? It would give her goose bumps, and she would feel the warmth spreading through her veins, putting those silly butterflies to sleep until she would see him again. He spoke a different language that was new to her, but she liked to stare at his lips when he spoke. The unknown yet rhythmic phonetic of the words would make her silly stupid heart skip a beat. And she would feel happy, very happy. Not just a simple happy, a warm, huge tide of happiness that had engulfed her, body and soul. And she was lost in it before she even knew.

It was him who had sent her those songs. They had acted as conversation starter between them. The songs were in his native language. He had said while sending them, ‘I’m not sure if you would like them. But just give them a try.’ Meera could vividly remember what she replied. ‘It’s ok. You know, music has its own universal language. I will listen to them .’ Meera was not trying to impress him. She had always been those people who were infamous for their blunt mouth and honest spirit.  Meera was in general a very polite person, but she could be extremely cruel and blunt with her choice of words if needed be. She said flatly what she believed. Silly girl. Meera rebuked herself ruefully. But she could not deny that she loved those songs, not only because they were good music, but she could find him in them. It was desperate attempt to cling on to something precious that she could not afford to let go

A long time has gone by since he had left her life; taking a piece of her with him. She had been messed up for a long time. But she didn’t wait around. Meera felt proud of her strength of character. She could have become one of those pathetic people obsessing over their exes, stalking them on social media, living in denial. Meera refused to wallow in pity. She had moved on. She had learned again to breathe. And smile. She had learned to appreciate the little things in life, again. His name did not reach out to her, leaving her gasping for breath anymore. His memories did not wake her up in the middle of the night, covered in cold sweats anymore. She did not cry herself to sleep craving his touch anymore. her heart was not healed completely yet, but it had stopped bleeding. New tissues had started to grow around the wound covering it up bit by bit. He had started to fade away. Now she had difficulty remembering his face, or his voice. Or the little things he used to do. The infinite void in her heart that he had left her with had started to fill up again, however slowly it was. But the songs had remained. And today, when they were playing in the shower and the water pouring through the curves and bends of her body, Meera could see the silly girl she used to be… With eyes full of hope.. Standing in the middle of that dusty road by the big lake.. And he was coming towards from the other side, with that wicked boyish smile on his face…

It’s ok, you know. Music has its own universal language.