Changes

This year I did not post any new year resolution shit. What's the point? It might look good or provide good content, but the fact remains. Resolutions are bullshit. Especially all those delusional promises that we make to ourselves when another year hits all brand new. It is as delusional as the concept of time. Time is not a straight line. It's a circle. It's infinite. Whatever that is going to happen has happened already. An infinite number of times. Your new year resolution is just a plus one to that.

However, one must change with time. If you don't you will be dead meat in no time. And even though it sounds like a catch-line of some shitty newspaper I really don't read newspaper or watch news anymore. It's been almost two years. Ignorance IS bliss. Especially for fucked up people like me.

I have changed a lot over the years. I'm constantly changing. My hair. (Oh for God's sake shut the fuck up already!) My fashion sense. How I appear in public. (Anxious and panic stricken. Hostile. Trying to hide insecurity behind arrogance.) How I write. How I treat people, family, friends. (Worse than before.) How I talk. (Less very less. Except when I'm drunk or having a major meltdown.) And of course the number of people in my life. An all time minimum. Period.


Talking about people in my life, I have decided to follow a new strategy. I am going cut off people out of my life at a faster rate than ever. No mercy. No second thought. I don't like you. So off you go. No fake friend. No unnecessary acquaintance. No favour returning drama. No conversation out of boredom. No toxic relationship. The last one is the hardest as I get myself off on it. But hey, I'm trying. So if you are wondering if you can no longer see my Instagram posts or my WhatsApp status, the chances are that I have blocked/deleted your number. Irrevocably. Please fuck off.

Ever since I'm back from Goa, I have cut down on sugar. Totally. No cake. No pastry. No soft drink. No artificially sweetened dairy product. Or packed fruit juice. I know. Those fugly, hideous, 'too nerdy and too serious' people will snide at this. Nah man, I don't think eating like a retarded monster is cool in any way. And milk and sugar tea SUCKS more than a prostitute.


After all this time I have realised one thing. I can't quit alcohol. (The other day I spilt literally a few drops of alcohol on my jacket and I was trying lick the last drop off hoping I might lose on getting high by few tiny points.) Not until I'm living alone in this cold hellhole with no friend and nothing. So I have decided to switch over to the least harmful option. Plain vodka. Mix it with some soda and lime. And you are good to go. Occasionally I put some sugar-free sweet for some extra punch. The F. L. shop guy here now knows me. I no longer have to ask for the half bottle of vodka. I just appear and he packs it. Sweet.

I have unfollowed all the blogs I used to follow since the beginning of time. Why? Well, they were getting monotonous. Even though they might have helped me once. No progress whatsoever. Same style. Same rambling. Same I'm-too-serious-to-look-pretty or I'm-too-smart attitude. And I never liked those Indian fashion bloggers. Dumb and spoilt. I mean getting dressed and posing for pictures is hard work? Try getting a job in investment banking. Or army. Or administrative service. I no longer want to read Bengali blogs either. Reason? I will never read or write Bengali. I don't want to. Blogging in Bengali is out of question. I have more probability of turning homosexual before that happens. I don't want to settle in Bengal. Nor do I wish to fornicate with one. And I mean one of those either lanky or fat pseudo-intellectual poetry reciting Communist piece of mama's boy shit. Fucking I hate them more than I despise Sonam Kapoor. And if you knew me personally you would know how unfathomable that hatred is. From now on I am only following blogs that will give me proper inspiration to move forward. Andd I am going to write about whatever the fuck gives me most pleasure whatsoever.



Cheers!


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