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Its been exactly a year I moved to Darjeeling. Many things have shifted in this past one year. To be honest, from mid 2017 till now my life has gone through so many major and rapid changes that if I look back I may not recognise the old me. But I guess that's a good thing. Life should never be stagnant, and so is one's personality. As for me, I am happy where I am in life right now. I am also happy about whatever happened so far. Especially last year it was so very painful. But pain or loss always brings about new beginning. And some losses are not even loss. They are actually blessings in disguise.

The best thing that happened so far is that I became more self reliant. Maybe not a big deal for normal people but for an anxiety patient it is a huge achievement. I still can't make random conversation with people. Still awkward and nervous at social gatherings. Still paranoid about meeting new people. But I am not as fucked up as before. My close ones keep telling me not to be so hard on myself all the time. But old habits die hard. However, I still hate people in general. With the same vigour as ever.

Talking about hating people, I still haven't warmed up to the locals of Darjeeling. Well, neither do I wish to. My social circle is very small and consists of the little cream of the society here and I do not intend to extend that any further. I hate my job to the very core but I do take my designation seriously and hence I refrain from mingling with just anybody. You see, I was never a communist nor will I ever be.

Among other things, I would say my cooking is getting better by day. My Instagram feed bears its witness. I miss my old fashion though. Mostly due to climate. This bloody place rains half the time of the year. Rest half it's shit cold. Work has become more hectic along with my growing hatred for my seniors back in Calcutta. I remain anxious over my work all the time thanks to some pricks in Calcutta office. I pray for their gruesome and untimely demise on a daily basis. If I had the opportunity I would have done it myself. I'm not exaggerating. I mean every word. My fondness for violence has increased exponentially in past few years. It feels nice to plot murders of people you despise. And my list is mostly made of my seniors, exes, or their asshole family members.

Many people often check out my pictures and comment on my so called happy life here. Well, life is definitely not easy here. Even if you forget about the climate and terrain factors, many others remain. Everything is overpriced. Water scarcity is a daily ordeal. People have no value for time. Not to mention they have the typical small town nosy mentality. And last but not the least, being a Bengali here always brings that communal racist angle.

It's not easy to look at the bright side all the time. However, I try to ignore people in general (that I'm an expert at) or any other inconveniences as much as possible. I do count my blessings. I have met many good people here. Have made many good memories. I have learned so many new things. Many of my wishes have been fulfilled so far. Touchwood. Darjeeling has given me a lot. I'm grateful to the mountain gods for that. Even though I am not at all happy with my career I'm sure things will turn out just fine in time. Till then I am keeping my fingers crossed.

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