Being Inappropriate

The other day my friend and I were having a discussion. Topic: Are we getting filthier with age? She was drooling over Vineet Kumar Singh (BTW did you see his latest ad? I mean I couldn't help drooling myself.) and I was following my duty as a BFF. I was encouraging her to explore the darkest nooks and crannies of her womanhood. Well, if men can make memes on Mia Khalifa (I like her BTW) then we also have the full right to explore our sexuality. Talking about sexuality, my ex went to watch Lipstick Under My Burkha with his mum. I remember making shitload of fun of that incident. It still baffles me how he took me for some feeble woman who would abide by his unfair demands. Dude I busted your balls and you totally enjoyed it then.

Do not think the placement of  the picture has anything to do with the continuity of the story here. Or do you? I don't know, but I'm always up for busting balls.

Anyway. Back to the original story. The verdict of that discussion was that we had been inappropriate all our life but we were slowly learning to embrace it without feeling any shame. I guess that's what age does to you; and experience. You grow up believing in all the bullshit they tell you about the 'ideal woman'. That ladies don't cuss etc. Then bam! Life teaches you lessons, one after another. And one fine morning you discover yourself texting your friend, "Motherfucker bc uski maa ki..." Thanks to Youtube for enhancing our vocabulary though. It is absolutely breathtaking how some people can actually write their own grammar book on cuss words. So much to learn.

When it comes to cuss words I had been a virgin till my masters. I remember I was bewildered the day I learned the meaning of behnchod. It was MS(QE), 2nd year, 1st semester; one of our batchmates was from Delhi. Need I say more? I was quite repulsed AND flabbergasted when I learned the literal meaning of that word. It was D only who enlightened me. However, I continued being a cuss word chickenshit until late 2017. I guess that was my tipping point. I was finally ready to leave the last smidgen of hypocrisy and patriarchal bullshit behind me. Note to remember, I came to know about myriad grammatical variations of BC only in 2016; including behn ka L and the person actually had to explain to me the meaning of the phrase because I couldn't stop wondering how a male organ could be there on a female.

To be honest, I still feel pretty uncomfortable uttering such hardcore cuss words in front of dudes. (However, I use fuck a lot though. I mean there is almost one variety of that word in every sentence I speak. Fuck is no longer a cuss word to me; it's become a lifestyle.) Well, old habits die hard. If I use those words with a guy it always implies that the bloke is permanently and irrevocably friendzoned. I guess I'm still a chickenshit when it comes to relationship but it wouldn't hurt if my future life partner knew that he had ended up with a filthy, ball-busting badass after all.

I just REALLY don't get along with misogynist mum-in-laws. #behnkalunchboxanyday