Seems like it was only yesterday I was jotting down my list
of resolutions for 2017. Spirit was high; optimism was flowing in abundance. Although
god knows why I was actually feeling so positive. Sometimes I do or feel things
without having a rational explanation. Intuition? Maybe. And yet, 2016 seems so
far away now. As if it was only a dream. A bad dream that ended for good but
left a bad taste in my mouth. That taste too will eventually fade away with time.
Gods do fuck with my mind from time to time, but they have also given me this
weird superpower of wiping memories off my brain. I believe in karmic cycle. You
make mistake. You pay for them. Then you start again with a clean slate. The universe
will see how good you are doing this time. Time is short. Chances are limited. Live.
Accumulate good karma. And most important of all, love. Fervently.
Half of 2017 is already spent irretrievably. No refund. No return.
So then the question comes to my mind – did I spend my quota well so far? I was
going through my resolution list for 2017 the other day and then I realized that
somehow, by some inexplicable stroke of luck, I actually did not-so-bad during
this 6 months spell. Well you see I am a stingy evaluator. I am always a little
too hard on myself. Anyway. Coming back to keeping my promises, I did keep a few of
them. Some are stupid. Some are not so stupid. I did colour my hair. I did
finish the Sikkim travelogue. I did go on a trip to Himachal. Although now I am
realizing that I need to go back there at least a few more times before I could
claim to have explored that state. And it was a good start. I am on my fourth
book of this year so I cannot say I am doing very well on being more consistent
about reading promise. I don’t think I am going to become an official Buddhist though. I have realized
I am also too fond of the religion that I was born with. And above all, I am a forever
wanderer; I don’t need an official tag to believe in something. And the
universe knows oh how zealously I believe what I believe! Not to forget I have
promised myself not to try too hard. Learning how not to internalize everything
is a tough business. But I am thankful that now I have got help, as if the gods
were listening when I was making that resolution. And talking about help, one
resolution I am never going to keep, hopefully. *keepingmyfingerscrossed* No
more tattoo. And trust me; I couldn’t be happier about breaking this pledge.
I ended the previous year with a surge of high hope for
unknown future. I had promised myself to listen to my intuition more. So far it
has guided me well. And although July has started with a bad jolt I am still
keeping my fingers crossed for the rest of the year and the years ahead. Life is
but a roller-coaster ride after all. Bad times only occur so we can appreciate
our chances more. Let's hope this phase too shall pass.
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