It’s excruciating yet exhilarating to have an intricately designed mind. Plain, boring people will never understand this. How a complex
mind works. How it unfolds and deciphers itself. How sometimes it goes into
hibernation and gives you moments of absolute nothingness. Your mind has its own mind. One moment it is happy. The very next moment it is drowning you in the ocean of your own nihilist
fantasies. You even love with so much savage detachment that they keep on
wondering what you truly feel. And the truth is, you don’t know the answer
yourself. You are forever stuck in that no man’s land between submitting and
running away. Yet love is God's very own symphony to you. Conflicts are poison to your soul. Your heart bleeds when you see the nature is out of harmony and justice is not being served. It’s not easy. It’s extremely painful to be out of shape in a
society that is forever haunting you with a pair of scissors to contour your
existence to fit into their moldings. At times you want to curl up in the
furthest corner of your bed and fall asleep and never wish to wake up again. But then,
sometimes, you look around yourself. With those big, forlorn eyes that are always
searching for something unknown, unconquered; like the captain of a sunken ship
looking for some far off land. And you see a bunch of biological entities slithering
about, breathing, talking, laughing, mating; being utterly obsessed with their
own insignificant, little lives that would end the moment their heart would
stop beating. They don’t even know how to love. Their souls are so long trapped
in their own pettiness that they mistake the sense of security of owning
something for love. Their boundaries are so small that they can’t even think
beyond their own little worlds. You sit with them. Speak with them. Laugh with
them. Pretend to be in sync with them. You begin to feel claustrophobic. The
walls are closing in on you. You want to run away from all of them. And then you realize. You realize exactly how
fortunate you are. How fortunate to be an outcast. That Mother Nature has
blessed you with the greatest treasure of all. The ability to actually see
things. The ability to feel. That you possess such a powerful mind that has
turned every single limb in your body into a hypersensitive sensory organ. And when
you walk around with so many open ended neurons all over your body, it is bound to hurt
every now and then. But then, pain is blessing for people like you.
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