Labyrinth

It’s excruciating yet exhilarating to have an intricately designed mind. Plain, boring people will never understand this. How a complex mind works. How it unfolds and deciphers itself. How sometimes it goes into hibernation and gives you moments of absolute nothingness. Your mind has its own mind. One moment it is happy. The very next moment it is drowning you in the ocean of your own nihilist fantasies. You even love with so much savage detachment that they keep on wondering what you truly feel. And the truth is, you don’t know the answer yourself. You are forever stuck in that no man’s land between submitting and running away. Yet love is God's very own symphony to you. Conflicts are poison to your soul. Your heart bleeds when you see the nature is out of harmony and justice is not being served. It’s not easy. It’s extremely painful to be out of shape in a society that is forever haunting you with a pair of scissors to contour your existence to fit into their moldings. At times you want to curl up in the furthest corner of your bed and fall asleep and never wish to wake up again. But then, sometimes, you look around yourself. With those big, forlorn eyes that are always searching for something unknown, unconquered; like the captain of a sunken ship looking for some far off land. And you see a bunch of biological entities slithering about, breathing, talking, laughing, mating; being utterly obsessed with their own insignificant, little lives that would end the moment their heart would stop beating. They don’t even know how to love. Their souls are so long trapped in their own pettiness that they mistake the sense of security of owning something for love. Their boundaries are so small that they can’t even think beyond their own little worlds. You sit with them. Speak with them. Laugh with them. Pretend to be in sync with them. You begin to feel claustrophobic. The walls are closing in on you. You want to run away from all of them. And then you realize. You realize exactly how fortunate you are. How fortunate to be an outcast. That Mother Nature has blessed you with the greatest treasure of all. The ability to actually see things. The ability to feel. That you possess such a powerful mind that has turned every single limb in your body into a hypersensitive sensory organ. And when you walk around with so many open ended neurons all over your body, it is bound to hurt every now and then. But then, pain is blessing for people like you.

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