The other day I was daydreaming (which I always do) and a thought occurred to me. Suppose in a post apocalyptic world I’m the lone survivor. Having survived my very own extinction I have nothing else to do but to roam about in the empty, deserted street filled with debris bearing sign of the mayhem that just took place. Suddenly I hear a faint scream. Upon looking for the source of the sound I discover that another fellow human trapped under rubble, still alive. I deliberately said human as the gender is irrelevant here. And no, that human is none of my relatives or friends. All are dead, hypothetically. (I studied Economics. We know how to use assumptions to our advantage.) And then my mind supplied the second twist in the story. There is a dog too, under the pile. And it too, is pleading for help. The third and the final twist. I can save, but any one of them. Then my mind turned to look me in the eye and asked the inevitable question. Who would you choose? Without any hesitation I replied, the dog, duh. I wouldn’t care if that human were Mother Teresa (God rest her soul in peace). And even if I was in a situation like Tom Cruise of Edge of Tomorrow I would still do the same. Each and every time I would choose the dog over the human. Period. You might ask what if that human was a good looking man and this was my only chance to repopulate the earth? I would say, go fuck yourself. If I survived the apocalypse, I would never betray the mother earth by infecting her with humans again. It will end with me. Double period. You might ask what if that man was your lost love. I would say, are you freaking kidding me?

I am by heart a pacifist. I don’t believe in violence. As much as I agree with Loki’s take on the nature of mankind, I do not support his methods. I am not a Nazi or a Fascist (hell I’m not even a Communist). No I also don’t believe in the theory of a certain father of India that one should bend over in the name of non-violence every time someone comes to take er.. advantage of you. Violence, sometimes, is a necessary evil. And our entire existence is based on that. It is useless to deny that. But every day I look around myself and cannot help wondering where we are heading for. It’s been a long time since I knighted myself with the policy of strict reticence when it comes to people. I don’t waste my time chatting, discussing, debating or arguing with anyone anymore. I am busy. Get lost. I am not in the mood. Get lost. I don’t like you. Get lost. Oh you don’t like me? Even better. Get lost. Most of the time the ‘get lost’ remains silent of course; but you get my point.

It says, with age comes wisdom and hence flexibility. In my case it is applicable until the wisdom part. My experiences have made me open my eyes and ripped me off my delusional take on people and their nature. Every morning I get up and step out into a world where all and sundry has sold their souls to the devil. We live in a time where compassion has become a glorified exception. Lord Voldemort might have lost the battle in the book, but he is very much alive in real world. Perhaps Harry had failed to find all the horcruxes after all. Perhaps Rowling herself had no idea. So don’t ask me why I have lost my faith in humanity here. Yes, every rule comes with exceptions every now and then. And the few, handful exceptions that I have in my life, well, I am lucky to have them. But that doesn’t change my take on the whole issue.

The other day on my way back home, I was listening to the conversation of three people sitting beside me. I wasn’t eavesdropping; in fact they were talking so loudly it was giving me headache. But we cannot shut our ears as yet. (I wish I were a mutant with that quality) So I was sitting there with a face of someone who had just swallowed a giant penguin and listening to their badmouthing. And suddenly I realised that us civilised humans are nothing but animals sans their simplicity, faithfulness and loyalty. From the American President to the members of ISIS to the wannabe student activists of JNU to the corrupted politicians to my asshole cruel neighbour to my narcissistic ex boyfriend, there is no difference.

In economics we are taught that almost every standard growth process goes through four phases. First it grows at an increasing rate, then at a decreasing rate until it reaches the maximum point. Then the downfall begins. It gradually reaches zero and enters the negative zone afterwards. The downfall phase of the mankind had started long ago and it’s been heading towards the horizontal axis at a speed greater than ever. Many religious texts including the Bible and the Puranas talk about how the destructor purified the earth by burning it first and then cleansed it by having brought in the Great Flood. It all ended only to begin again from the scratch. Buddhism believes that the Samsara or the universe is stuck in an infinite loop with no absolute beginning or no absolute end. It’s just endless cycle with transitional phases in between. Personally I believe that our mother earth is in her last phase here. Next time there would be no beginning for us. And millions of years later when intelligent beings from another planet will come to our barren, lifeless, abandoned earth and find signs of a long gone probable existence of life there – they will wonder why life ended here. What they will not be able to figure out that it is our own humongous pile of sins that buried us. Once and for all.

Happy Earth Day to all my fellow humans who are busting their precious things trying to establish themselves as nature lover while cooling their asses off in front of the air-conditioner. I am sorry that I am a cynical b*tch.

p.s. Taksang Monastery post will be coming up soon. I couldn't write anything in past 7 days. Reason? Well, the same old shit story of how incredibly stupid I am. Never mind.